I find myself going through the big 3 everyday. We encounter these every day. When I walk around campus, I catch myself looking at boobs, and butts. I stare at them "not all the time" because I am physically attracted to those kinds of things. I am a man and I need to look sometimes. I like to hang out and smoke weed with my friends. I do this all the time. I’m socially attracted to hang out with the people I like. I like to hang out with my friends because we smoke weed, talk, and whatever friends do. In class, I sit next to an unattractive girl. The teacher says “complete this activity with the student next to you.” By coincidence the unattractive girl is right next to me so I have to work with her. She is looking at me all weird with her eyes. I can sense that she is attracted to me but I’m definitely not too attracted to her. The only relationship I want with her is a task related one. I just want to finish the activity and get out of class.
Now back to the part where I find myself staring at boobs and butts. Eventually this leads me to be sexually attracted to a girl. If she is acknowledging that I am looking, and she likes it, this just makes me more sexually attracted. I have a girlfriend at the moment so doing this is kind of bad. But we are all attracted to doing the wrong thing. We are selfish. I am just trying to get a fix and fill in that desire. On campus, if this happens I can control myself because of the environmental factors. I’m at school and I need to get to class and I have other stuff to do. I just can’t go around chasing girls all day. They probably have stuff to do also. But, if I was at a bar, drunk, loud music, some girls are looking sexy. I know a couple girls in her group so it is easier for me to approach her. The proximity is not far. This is just more influence on me to get a girl and take her back to the crib. I approach the girl and try to start a conversation. I am putting myself in a position so that something could happen if you know what I mean. Even though I have a girlfriend, if all the environmental factors are right, I could go to bed with a girl and it just so happens, its not my gf. Oops.
But I am aware that I am not the only one that does this. Probably my gf is doing the same thing. We are selfish animals. In a relationship, both partners are selfish. There has to be that balance of selfishness. We both know what can happen at the bars, but that is the balance, and that’s what keeps me from doing such things.